Set us Free in YOUR LOVE

It's 12:23am and I should be in bed. I have been up doing absolutely nothing. Today was definitely a hard day, not sure why. Actually, I take that back... I know why. It's definitely because I try to do things my way even when I know God's way is better. It's such a tough place to explain... I am captivated by Jesus but giving EVERYTHING to Him gets hard...

I was speaking to my pastor last night and I told him how I feel "grounded" in Christ for the first time. I feel close to Him and I can definitely hear what He is saying. However, it's still really hard to have all my "junk" come to the surface and have Him say: "I still love you." It's overwhelming at times but I guess my picture of God for the past few years has been relatively distorted because I never really knew what the saying "father" meant. Needless to say God has definitely been showing me what a father is and how much HE LOVES ME. God is the ultimate father and nothing can take His spot there in ANY of our lives. It's fantastic to process it and come to that conclusion. God is definitely showing me not to hold any resentment towards my father. To quote John Dawson: "Don't be angry with your parents. They're just kids who had kids."

It is still overwhelming... lol. I look back to who I was and who I am and I just can't believe what Jesus has done in my life. 2 years ago you wouldn't have been able to tell me that I would be maturing in Christ more. I was in a rut, and I just wanted to hold on to my "junk"... Funny how Jesus doesn't even want us to do that. He was us to be free.... You're probably confused by this entry just as much as I am. I think this is what happens when you process and type at the same time... I was listening to a NEW song tonight by United Pursuit Band (surprise!). It's called "In Your Love". I am going to put the lyrics below then comment on them. Unfortunately the song is BRAND NEW so there's no youtube video out for it.... yet



United Pursuit Band "In Your Love"

I will believe in You
All of my hope's in You
I will depend on You.
I will have faith in You.
All of my hope's in You.
I will depend on You.

Set us free
In Your Love
Set us free
In Your Love

If you find Him
Tell Him that I LOVE HIM
If you find Him
Tell Him that I LOVE HIM

Set us free
In Your Love
Set us free
In Your Love

If You find Him
Tell Him that I LOVE Him
If You find Him
Tell Him that I LOVE Him

Tell Him that I yearn
Tell Him that I long
Tell Him that I yearn
Tell Him that I long for Him..."

This spoke directly to me. "If you find Him tell Him that I LOVE Him". God just asked me (rhetorically) "Jon why are you scared to give it ALL to me... I don't JUST want the stuff you want me to fix... I want the things I want to fix." I am never disappointed by His work in my life... it's always good.... He's God I'm Not...


How about you?


I apologize if this was hard to understand... once again it's 12:40am and I am TIRED...

sorry for the excessive use of the ellipsis too

GOODNIGHT!